i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you would pick up someone in the library
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
