plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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