I cockslap morals
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
