I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
