just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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