There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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