we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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