Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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