Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Pants are for mortals
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
