I looked at my own cervix.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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