i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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