Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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