glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
