Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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