He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
