That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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