He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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