Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
