I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Randomize
