i barfeds in our rink
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
