My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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