my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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