i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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