hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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