The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
