So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize