I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
