I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
