What did we do last night that was yellow?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He did a backflip because drugs
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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