...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
