i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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