What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
