just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
