Girls should come with a carfax report
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
this will be a night to untag.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
There are leaves in my underwear?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
