best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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