My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
