Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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