I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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