Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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