Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
this is an emotional support booty call
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
