i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Nicole vs. Life
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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