Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
