I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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