I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
