the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
