I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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