Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
