I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
cat food counts as protein by the way
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
