rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
