so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
