I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
