I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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